Well it is nice to know that I have a brother. Whether or not he knows that I exist is still beyond me. I don't know if my father has told him yet. I don't know if he ever will come to think of it. I'll tell you what little I know about him.
He is about my build. We are about the same weight and height. He has lighter colored hair though. My hair is dark. He seems to be pretty athletic. He plays hockey, like previously mentioned. He currently plays hockey in college. He's a goalie. I guess he is pretty good. I really don't know that much about hockey other than people get into fights a lot and ride around on ice skates performing triple axles and other various tricks. I'm kidding. It seems like a very tough sport. So maybe he is tough. Hopefully one day I'll get to finally see in person what he is like.
It’s time for one of the most painful parts of this journey. I was looking at a web page with his information on it. It stated his birth date and I started to cry. Yeah, I was in my twenties and crying. I know. But the emotions set themselves up high when I saw his age. He was two and a half years younger than me. that's it. My father left me. My mother said he saw me for the last time when I was a few months old. So that cuts the difference down to two years. Add the nine months in for the pregnancy, and it equals out to be about a few months over a year. Fifteen moths is my guess. I know a lot can happen in fifteen months. But come on. You leave your child because you’re not ready, and then all of the sudden fifteen months later, you have a change of heart. You decide that you’re going to keep this one that's coming. That was the biggest blow to my chest.
You have to wonder what was going through my father's mind when this was occurring. I know deep in my mind that he had to of been thinking about me at one point or another, especially during the pregnancy.
His name is Garrett. He's a single child. Well that's what he has grown up to realize anyway. One day he may know the truth. I hope that day is soon.
I added him on my Facebook shortly after I met my dad. I didn't know whether I should. I kept thinking about what he would say to me. Would he ask me who I am? After a while of thinking I decided I would go ahead and add him. If he said something I just wouldn't respond. I clicked add. It's been three years or so and he still has never said nothing to me. I am not a Facebook stalker by any means. I just like to go to his page from time to time to get a feel of what he is into, and what he does. Okay, so I guess that meets the criteria for stalking. But I do it meaning no harm. It's not like I get on there every day. I bet he sees a post of mine from here and there, yet he has no idea that's his big brother posting away.
One day I would like to meet him. It would be nice to go fishing and just talk about growing up. I would like to get to know him on a personal basis. But just like dreaming of a family taking me in with open arms, this too is probably a far-fetched dream that won't ever happen. I'm sure that if we ever meet, it will be short and sweet. We are probably two total opposites and have nothing in common. But on the other hand, maybe something will actually go my way for once. Maybe we will click and start a good friendship. Time will tell.
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